Self-betrayal

I love rice krispie treats.  They taste so good.  They are so easy to make.  Did you know rice krispie treats were invented in 1939?  Two friends were asked to figure out a fund raiser using campfire marshmallows.  For Camp Fire Girls.  I saw this commerical many years ago.  I think about it still.  When I notice falseness.  When I think about being false. This television clip reminds me.  People pretend.

They act falsely.  They portray themselves.  Have you ever wondered why?  Why you pretend things that are not true.  About yourself.  When looking good is important.  Most important.  Being good becomes fuzzy.  What happens?  Like looking good matters.  Matters more.  C. Terry Warner has some great ideas.  Ideas about pretending.  About being false.  He calls it self-betrayal.  "Self-betrayal, which is my term for the pivotal act by which we indirectly choose our way of being, captures what was once in more traditional terms meant by the word sin.  For those who understand its meaning, sin suggests something about our being.  Because this act of sin or self-betrayal, properly understood, alters how we are, we do not simply act falsely when we betray ourselves or sin; we are false, false in our being" (Warner, 2001, p. 48-49).  This is cool.  This makes me think.  Ponder and it can change you.  It has changed me.  I find I am more honest.  With myself.  With others.  I search.  Where is my heart?  I like knowing.  I like not pretending.  I like changing my heart when it is false.  When it is not right.  Warner continues with the concept of sin.  "It lays responsibility for the kind of people we are becoming squarely upon ourselves and therefore challenges us, without tact or subtlety, to examine ourselves" (p. 49).  Examine myself?  My life.  I want to do that.  I like it when I do that.  Be honest.  With myself.  With others.  Do you ever think avoiding works best?  Sometimes.  Maybe.  Terry explains, "This idea can be frightening when not adequately understood.  Who wants to face up to the fact that they have themselves to thank for their present muddles and messes?  Yet this idea is key for solving the deepest and most difficult problems that we struggle with from day to day" (p. 49).  Here are 2 more commericals.  Click here and here.  In these videos we see the same behavior.  Both women.  Doing the same thing.  Making treats for the family.  We see something different too.  Their way of being.  Hmm.  Does our way of being matter?  Our heart.  1 Samuel 16:7.  Here is a good place to practice curiosity.

Curiosity

Are you curious?  By nature.  Happy people tend to be curious or is it curious people tend to be happy.  Well.  Science is not sure.  Which comes first.  Does it really matter?  I thought everyone was curious.  Well no.  Not really.  Curiosity can be natural.  A gift.  Curiosity is also something I can aquire.  Yes.  Nurture and develop.  With practice.  I can be curious.  I can be more curious.  What is curiosity?  Active interest.  Wanting to know.  Know more about something.  Someone.  Hmm.  What curiosity does is open us.  Open us to experience.  To what?  To being open.  Open to discovery.  To joy & delight.  When we are curious we see things differently.  We tend to be in the present.  Present moment.  We are alive.  More engaged.  More capable of making connections.  Experience meaning.  More meaning.  The kind that lasts.  Martin Seligman, PhD and Christ Peterson, PhD are pioneers.  They studied ancient philosophers, religious texts and literature.  They noticed patterns.  They listed and charted and checked and tested.  Rigorous tests.  They determined 24 basic strengths.  Strengths that promote well being.  Increase happiness.  Positive affect.  What?  Positive emotion.  Strengths I can possess.  Strengths you can possess.  Curiosity was in the top 5.  Really?  Yes.  Try.  Practice.  Hmm.  I wonder.  What are the other 23 strengths?

Break

Taking a Break For Family Fun
My twin grandbabies Carson & Carlee came to visit.  Yippee!

World

My world view.  This is how I feel.  About the world.  I love it.  I am glad to be here.  On earth.  Living today.  Right now.  I am grateful.  I understand.  Yes, I know.  There is talk of terribleness.  There are thoughts of terribleness.  I see them.  I hear them.  Well.  Kind of.  Peripheral like.  Fuzzy.  Truth is.  I do not want to listen.  I could.  I have.  Shouting.  Doom.  Gloom.  But I think.  That is what gives me freedom.  I think differently.  I know my thinking matters.  Could there be 2 worlds?  Some don't see mine.  My mom thought like this.  Joy is real.  So is hate.  We get to choose.  Was that the plan and we forget?  Sometimes.  We can choose what we think.  How we feel.  What we do.  Here.  Today.  Now. 

Girl Scouts

Girl Scouts of America

I like Girl Scouts.  I was a Girl Scout.  I loved the cool badges.  I just learned about a super cool new badge that makes me happy.  Science of Happiness merit badge.  What!  A well-being badge.  This is just too good to be true.  In 2012 Girl Scouts teamed up with Martin E. P. Seligman, Phd.  Wonderful.  Okay.  What does a girl got to do to get her happiness badge?  Help others.  Learn to forgive.  Reflect on family memories.  Count blessings.  Keep a journal.  Hmm?  Where else have I seen these ideas?

Science of Happiness
Girl Scout Merit Badge.

  Service.  Forgiveness.  Family.  Gratitude.  Journaling.  Oh yes.  This is good.  The research on happiness is good.  These are a few strategies of Positive Psychology.  I also call them interventions.  Healthy intervention strategies.  There are more.  There is more.  More good stuff in the science of Positive Psychology.   Happiness.  I am so grateful Girl Scouts of America can see the goodness too.  "One of Seligman's favorite lines about the goal of positive psychology has to do with increasing the tonnage of happiness on the planet" (Peterson, 2012). More then three million scouts and adult volunteers.  That is a bunch of potential for spreading good thinking.  Thinking that can build and lift.  I love good news.  For me this is great news.

Facebook

This post is sort of about Facebook.  This post is 

Britton Lerty Clair

 kind of about the dad I did not know.  This post wants to be about narrative therapy.  This post is trying to be about truth.  I have recently posted a couple stories.  About my dad.  The dad I never knew.  That was my story.  Since I was 4 years old that has been my story.  How many times do you think I have told that story?  To myself.  To others.  Well.  I realized this morning that I am still telling that story and guess what?  That is kind of, sort of, an old story.  Like old because it is not true.  Anymore.  November 28, 2010 a friend was at my house.  Bev.  On my computer.  On her Facebook.  She showed me a few things.  I was naive to FB.  We searched a few names.  You know.  Old best friends.  People we know.  Then.  I searched my dad's name.  A profile page came up.  Amazed.  No picture but a name.  Britton Clair.  I sent a simple email.  

He replied.

We slowly shared.  We slowly reached out.  He lives in Denmark.  We emailed about me visiting.  Maybe.  Last year.  We have emailed about him visiting.  Utah.  Arizona.  Maybe.  This year.  Today I know where he lives and have plans to meet him.  Someday.  Maybe.  He slowly has become Britt.  The dad I kind of know.  So why is this post about narrative therapy?  Because I keep telling a story.  A story that has changed.  Narrative theories are based on the idea that people make meaning of their lives through story.  People get stuck in problem-saturated stories.  Stories that they believe signify who they are.  I have held on to a story.  A story that has changed.  Why?  That is a good question.