February 17, 2013

Regret

Have you ever noticed something special about people who are dying?  They seem wise. They know something.  Something that might be helpful.  Helpful to me.  What would I think about right before I die?  What will I regret?  I studied "end of life" counseling.  I met an "end of life" counselor.  She had fascinating stories.  Amazing experiences.  She knew stuff.  She knew there were others on the another side.  Waiting.  Wanting.  Loving us.  I recently learned about another woman who has been there.  Been with people before they die.  Bronnie Ware.  She is a nurse.  She wrote a book.  She has a blog.  This is what I learned from Ms. Bronnie.  Many people gain clarity at the end of their lives.  Boy, I want clarity.  I wonder.  Do we have to wait until we are dying?  Is there something I can do now?  Like today.   She also noticed common themes.  Common regrets.  Here are her top 5.   

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me".
"I wish I hadn't worked so hard".  Men more then woman spoke of this regret.
"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings".  She saw illnesses related to bitterness and resentment.  Oh my.  Regret can hurt?
"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends".





"I wish that I had let myself be 

happier".
"Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves".  (p. 167).  I wonder.  Do I really really act and think as if I am free to choose?

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