March 15, 2013


What is enmeshed?  Enmeshed is a type of boundary.  Boundary problem.  Family systems theroies suggest two extremes.  Boundaries that is.  Enmeshed or disengaged.  Enmeshed relationships may exhibit caring that reaches beyond normal.  They cross over and distort.  Over sharing.  Over caring.  I have been here.  Disengaged or detached is the other extreme.  They share very little to nothing.  Little communication with no flexibility.  Healthy relationships are different.  They have clear emotional and physical boundaries.  They each have a sense of self.  They discuss problems.  They listen.  Self awarness allows each partner to know they do not know how their partner thinks.  How their partner feels.  If we tell others how they feel or think we cross boundaries.  It can weaken us.  Our sense of identity.  When boundaries are enmeshed co-depency happens.  "I need you to make me feel whole".  Genuine love is confused.  The bond is out of fear.  Fear of being rejected instead of love for the other person.  When we feel the need to fix our partner we may need to rethink our boundaries.  If idolizing our partner makes us feel better we may be enmeshed.  
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