Forget Me Not

Sitting in an unknown meeting house with women I did not know invited by a new kind thoughtful friend in a town I had never been.  I listened.  It was one of those moments.  The Spirit was real.  For me.  I knew.  Heavenly Father knew me.  He cared for me.  He cared for others.  President Uchtdorf spoke words.  His words.  He spoke to every women.  Men too.  Any who would listen.  I listened. 

First.  Forget not to be patient with yourself.

Second. Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.

Third.  Forget not to be happy now.

Fourth.  Forget not the why of the gospel.

Fifth.  Forget not that the Lord loves you.

Two Ways

 Two Ways To Be

Following is from C. Terry Warner's book, "Bonds That Make Us Free".
One way is to live in an open, generous, resonant way.  We live for others and we are an individual for whom others are real.  By contrast.  Others are not real to us and we live for ourselves.  We are guarded, alienated, and hardened.  We get wrapped up in ourselves.  By seeing others suspiciously, accusingly, or fearfully, we become suspicious, accusing, or fearful ourselves.  By no longer seeing others with care, delight, and generosity, we ourselves cease to be caring, delighted, and generous.  Dr. Warner shares ideas from a book "I and Thou" by Martin Buber.  Buber identifies I-It to the self-absorbed, guarded way of being.  The sensitive and responsive way of being he calls I-Thou or I-You.

The differences are inward and deep.  Conditions of the heart.  We change in fundamental ways if we travel from I-It to I-You.  Are you curious how this might effect our behavior?  Our way of being.  My way of being.  Could it be that altering my behavior alone might not be enough for long term change?  The mighty change of heart kind.

Happy

This is my car.  This is my license plate.  This picture was taken in front of my home.  I love this picture.  Breathtaking desert.  Spring colors.  Mountains with blue sky.  Relishing nature is another tenet of happiness.  Years ago I saw on TV.  Most attended class at Harvard was on happiness.  Wow I thought out loud.  Then magic.  I was able to take a class.  Psychology of Happiness at the University of Arizona.  It was that semester that I knew for certain.  God wants us to be HAPPY.  I believe science and spirit have met.  Heavenly Father knows His children.  I came across this simple video.  It explains positive psychology.  Well.  Kind of.  In a fun way.  With music.  Pictures too.  

Book

I use to work at Deseret Book.  It was so much fun.  It was almost as much fun as working at Latter Day Cottage.  Almost.  I love books.  I love people looking for books.  "The Miracle of Forgiveness" is an interesting book. The title is amazing.  The author is one of my favorite.  Spencer W. Kimball.  He was President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when I was baptized.  I was 18 years 11 months old.  "The Miracle of Forgiveness" was a book I read.  Missionaries suggested it.  Or maybe my first Bishop.  Not sure.  It is an interesting book.  Oh I already said that.  But it is.  I have noticed that for some it is an uplifting change the heart kind of book.  For others.  Not so much.  When I worked at Deseret Book people came in looking for this book.  Lots of people.  A Bishop or Stake President suggested.  Lots of young men.  Old men.  Women too.  I sometimes would worry.  "The guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center".  (1Nephi 16:2).   Guilt is a good thing.  It encourages change.  It helps us stay connected.  Guilt can lead us to truth.  This is true.  Shame not so much.  It is not a friend to change.  It encourages isolation.  Feelings of helplessness.  I have heard reading the last chapter first can help.  One of my buddies at Deseret Book shared something with me.  He read President Monson's biography.  "To The Resue".  We both worried for our young customers.  We wanted them to feel love.  To feel hope.  To feel the miracle of forgiveness Elder Kimball spoke of in his book.  This is what my tall kind Deseret Book buddy found.  Words written by Heidi S. Swinton.

Listen

I bought this sign early 2000.  My sense was I needed to stop.  I needed to listen.  I needed to slow down but felt helpless in the effort.  The Spirit whispered to me.  I could not hear but I knew.  I put this sign by my kitchen window.  I had trouble hearing.  I wanted to be reminded.  I was missing something.  I felt the Holy Ghost pulling me.  Prompting me.  Be still.  The Spirit was leading me.  The noise was so loud.  What seemed to be true was not.  I searched.  I was confused but not.  In Sunday's classes I was reminded of the help I received from Heaven.  I was also reminded of the help I continue to receive from Heaven.
Today.  Everyday. 

Regret

Have you ever noticed something special about people who are dying?  They seem wise. They know something.  Something that might be helpful.  Helpful to me.  What would I think about right before I die?  What will I regret?  I studied "end of life" counseling.  I met an "end of life" counselor.  She had fascinating stories.  Amazing experiences.  She knew stuff.  She knew there were others on the another side.  Waiting.  Wanting.  Loving us.  I recently learned about another woman who has been there.  Been with people before they die.  Bronnie Ware.  She is a nurse.  She wrote a book.  She has a blog.  This is what I learned from Ms. Bronnie.  Many people gain clarity at the end of their lives.  Boy, I want clarity.  I wonder.  Do we have to wait until we are dying?  Is there something I can do now?  Like today.   She also noticed common themes.  Common regrets.  Here are her top 5.   

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me".

"I wish I hadn't worked so hard".  Men more then woman spoke of this regret.

"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings".  She saw illnesses related to bitterness and resentment.  Oh my.  Regret can hurt?

"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends".

"I wish that I had let myself be 
happier".
"Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves".  (p. 167).  I wonder.  Do I really really act and think as if I am free to choose?