Perfectionism

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Perfectionism is paradoxical.  Perfectionist I thought were perfect.  What could be the problem?  Here are a few things.  1.Perfectionist can be all or nothing.  Good or bad thinking.  "If I can't do it right then I won't do it at all".  2.Perfectionist can be defensive.  Criticism may expose flaws.  Catastrophic if another assualts their self-worth.  3.Perfectionist fear failure.  Shrink from challenges.  Focused on the empty part of the glass.  Paralyzed.  4.Rigid.  Straight line to success.  Spontaneity too risky.  Playfulness unacceptable.  5.Perfectionist tend to judge self and others.  Harshly.  Errors are avoidable.  Harshness is a perfectionist form of taking responsiblity.  6.  Looking good is important.  Perfectionist like to be seen as perfect.  Obstacle to enJOYment.  Pressure.  What others think matters.  7.Consequences.  Low self-esteem.  Depression.  Aniexity.  Addiction.  Eating-disorders.  Sexual dysfunction. Chronic fatigue.  Social phobia.  Paralyzing procrastination.  

Being perfect is super tricky.  Being perfect is never good enough.  It hurts.  I am curious.  This sounds a bunch like pride.  I am not sure.  Just pondering. 

Great book.  "The Pursuit of Perfect" by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.  Click here to learn from the author.  Click here for a silly kind of dated first 3 minutes worth watching video.

Perfection

"The greatest mistake a man can make is 
to be afraid of making one" ©

Tripping on perfection.  Being a perfectionist can be a hazard.  Sorry.  It is true.  When we think about the gospel this feels off.  Maybe counter intuitive.  How could this be.  What about Matt 5:48?  Did you know perfect in this scripture means complete?  Finished.  Fully develped.  Moroni 10:32 says be perfect in Christ.  Here perfect is inviting us to be spriturally reborn.  Moroni explains in His grace we become perfected.  Matters of the heart we know matter.  In 1 Kings 8:61 king Solomon tells his people to have perfect hearts.  Pefect here is easy.  A willing mind.  A heart that seeks Him.  I think of honest.  Search the scriptures.  The word perfect has many meanings.  Being perfect may not be what you think.  Needing to be perfect has been studied.  Perfectionism.  Researched.  It can be hazardious to our health.  Our mental health.  Our emotional health.  
Our spiritual health.

To be continued…….

Flow

Flow is something happy people do.  It is another tenet of positive psychology.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.   He is the guy who noticed flow.  Flow is that mental state when time stops.  Time flies.  We find ourselves immersed.  Energized focus.  We forget everything else.  We feel fully invested in our task.  Some do this naturally.  Regularly.  Others may need to learn.  Time spent invested in flow increases well being.  Promotes positive emotion.  Later.  Not necessarily during.  We challenge ourselves during flow.  We stretch and learn.  We use our skills and flourish.  Flow is focus with contentment.  Think.  Where do I do this?  How can I learn?  Artists flow.  Some athletes.  Many teachers.  Scientist.  Big thinkers flow.  Simple minds too.  Anyone who gets in the zone.  Creativity opens flow.  Thriving.  Doing what we easily love.  That is flow.  Flow is worth seeking.  Moments at a time.  Enjoy being.

Missionary Mom

Video (first 3 minutes)

This touched my heart.

This stirred up the love I feel for my son.

I have loved being David's mom.

Beloved David.

My Mom

My Mom died 19 years ago.  

Today.  February 28, 1994.  

Betty Jean Barentsen Clair Brown.   

I am grateful to be her daughter. 

This year book description reminds me.

How my Mom was.  How I am.  How I am like my Mom.

Thank you Mom.  I love you.

Shame

Shame.  New topic.  Age old always been emotion.  What is new.  We are talking about it.  Guilt is good.  Shame is not.  Guilt is a constructive emotion.  We feel regret or sorrow and have a desire to do different.  We ourselves are good.  We just did something bad.  We know.  We feel.  We can change.  Shame not a constructive emotion.  We see ourselves as bad.  We don't know.  We don't feel.  We do not think we can change.  Guilt works to preserve and maintain connection.  Shame works to disconnect.  Disconnect us from our self and others.  What can we do when we feel shame?  Recognize.  Start talking about it.  You will learn.  You will see.  You are not alone.  You are worthy of love and connection.  Too.  Also.  Everyone is.  Spiritual ears tell us this is true.  Listen.  With courage.  You are worthy of love and connection.  Always have been.  Always will be.

Click here for a deeper look at shame 

with Brene Brown.